


Alienated Together

by NastyBambino



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fruit Parties and Animated Movies, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what else to tag, M/M, Nightmares, Not Steve Friendly, Not Wanda Friendly, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), but only in him being a dunce trying too hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14564202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NastyBambino/pseuds/NastyBambino
Summary: Bucky feels unsafe around Steve, between him being compared to Wanda and the team in general. He flees to his only safe haven: Tony.





	Alienated Together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [calmena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmena/gifts).



> *sweats loudly* I hope this is okay. I tried to do decent on it, and it didn't exactly follow what I wanted to do. But I could turn it into a series, so I might. Anyway. All mistakes mine of course. Thank you so much for reading!

Bucky is rapidly running out of reasons to not deck Steve any time they are in the general vicinity of each other. With his metal arm. His eye twitches when the witch comes in the room with Steve, who looks sheepish but determined. It isn’t the first time the blonde has tried to get him to bond with her; like every other time, Bucky is determined to make sure she stays far, _far_ away from him. The ex-assassin fills his glare with contempt and aims it at his (supposed) best friend. “Fuck. No,” he growls. She sniffs at him, and the chair creaks ominously under his hands.

Steve steps in between them. “Come on,” he soothes. “Let’s just talk about this. Buck, why don’t you like Wanda?” Bucky can’t help but look at him like he’s stupid. The Captain winces, realizing what he’s asked. “Okay, point. But you can’t blame her! She was brainwashed by Hydra. She’s innocent, like you.” Maximoff looks far too smug over Steve’s shoulder.

“I didn’t know they were Hydra,” she agrees.

“Like _hell_ you didn’t,” the sniper snaps back. “You _volunteered_. I was fucking _taken_. We are not the same and we never will be.” Her hands start glowing, and he freezes, going pale and eyes stuck on the threatening power.

“You’re not helping, Wanda,” Steve says with disapproval, like he’s talking to a _child_ instead of an _adult_. She huffs and reins her powers back in; Bucky stays pale regardless.

“ _Stay away from me_ ,” he bites out around nearly overwhelming nausea. When Steve takes a step towards him, he jerks out of his seat and stumbles backwards. “ _We aren’t the same_. Fuck you for thinking we are, _Stevie_.” He barely sees the other soldier’s stricken expression before he practically runs to the elevator, silently thanking FRIDAY for having it open beforehand.

He touches his forehead to the back of the elevator, reveling in the comfort of the chill as he focuses on just _breathing_. For a moment he thinks he’s going to throw up, but he manages to swallow back the bile before it comes out. His stomach rolls as he gets his breathing under control and starts thinking outside of fight-or-flight. He turns so that he’s facing the elevator doors and shakily presses the number for Tony’s workshop. He closes his eyes and focuses on his heartbeat and staying calm as an emotional cocktail overwhelms the gripping panic. When the door opens, he opens his eyes as he walks over to the workshop and knocks on the door, already relaxing at the music he can barely hear through it.

The sound disappears, and he sees Tony’s head come up and his mouth move. He’s too disoriented to even try to read his lips but knows enough to guess that FRIDAY alerted him to his presence and probably his emotional state as well. The door opens so he walks in slowly, anxiously holding onto the wrist of his metal arm. Tony meets him when he stops a bit away from where he is. Tony clicks his tongue in sympathy. “He did it again, didn’t he?” he asks sadly. Bucky gives a jerky nod. “Can I touch you? Is that okay?” He nods again.

The moment Tony’s hand lands on his shoulder, he releases a wounded noise and wraps his arms tight around the smaller man’s waist. He buries his face in Tony’s neck as he starts shaking almost violently as it hits him that Steve will never stop trying to make him see that him and Wanda are the same. That’s what hurts the most. Not that his best friend is trying to get him to relax around the witch, but that he’s using his trauma with Hydra as the means to do it. “I’m not her,” he mutters over and over, eyes shut in fear of seeing the blood on his hands, of how Steve must see him if he keeps comparing him to _her_.

“I know,” Tony murmurs back, hand moving steadily, soothingly, up and down his back. “I know.” Bucky doesn’t know how long they stay like that, can’t find it in himself to care despite how selfish he feels taking up the genius’s time. When he’s feeling more stable (and has cried himself out, something he feels guilty for doing on Tony), he pulls back and wipes his face. Tony rubs his arms and smiles reassuringly at him. “How about we watch a movie and pig out on fruit, Tastee Freeze?” Bucky gives a shaky smile back and nods silently. Tony nudges him towards the couch while he has FRIDAY power down his work and put on Big Hero 6. He sits and watches him run around gathering fruit and dips and spreading them out almost like a mini buffet on the table in front of the couch.

He eventually settles next to the super soldier, wrapping them in probably one of the biggest blankets Bucky has ever seen in his life. They press up against each other, both touch starved and comfortable enough with each other to find solace that way. The movie starts up and Bucky reaches for a plum, already feeling better as he bites into the fruit. They go undisturbed to the point they manage to get through three movies, but like all good things, it came to an end in the form of his best friend finding him. _Just when I started feeling better too_ , he internally sighs as he watches Steve narrow his eyes that were too sharp on Tony’s face. _This ain’t gonna end well_.

He feels Tony tense next to him even as he tells FRIDAY to let him in and resists the urge to wrap his arm around him. Steve is still hit or miss when it comes to the genius, especially regarding his interactions with the soldier, and Bucky would prefer not to push him further than he already seems to be. Tony throws on his press smile; it makes something in Bucky ache at the sight. “What’s up, Capsicle? Here to join the party?” Steve relaxes slightly, a good sign.

“No thanks,” he replies. “I’m just here to talk to Buck.” He looks at the man in question, and the brunette tenses. He _really_ is not up to talking to Steve yet, especially not about the situation with the witch. He silently shakes his head; Steve frowns. “It won’t take long. I just want to talk about you and Wanda.”

“Uh, I don’t think Buckaroo feels up to that, Cap,” Tony jumps in for Bucky, who’s silently relieved. He hates disappointing Steve, and this is going to turn into that very quickly. The blonde gives Tony a disapproving look.

“He can speak for himself.”

“He did, and he said no. And I can’t blame him.” Steve bristles.

“You don’t even know what’s going on!” Tony rolls his eyes.

“Everyone and their mother knows what’s going on, Steve. You’re comparing him and Wanda and their experiences. That’s apples and oranges, Star Spangled. They’re not the same, and they never will be.” Bucky curls in slightly at the rage that lights up Steve’s eyes.

“Oh like you know anything about that,” he snaps. “Just because you’re too up on your high horse to see redemption in Wanda doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You’re biased anyway, or did you forget that you killed her parents?” Bucky goes cold as his eyes flit over to Tony’s face, something stony and blank that fills him with dread.

“Did you forget that she got into all of our fucking heads and tried to destroy us or am I the only one besides Bucky in this building with common sense?” he replies coldly. Steve’s fists clench, and Bucky takes that as his cue and stands quickly.

“Leave Tony out of this Steve,” he says quietly. Steve narrows his eyes again.

“He needs to take back what he said about Wanda. She’s a changed person.”

“And Tony isn’t? He didn’t even try to kill her parents. You and I both know about Stane and what he did. I don’t think she changed at all. She was Hydra by choice. People like that _don’t change_ , Steve.” Steve throws his hands in the air.

“I know her better than you do Buck,” he says with barely restrained anger. Bucky has to hold back a flinch anyway. “She was tricked, brainwashed-“ Bucky snaps.

“ _No she wasn’t_!” he roars. “We are _nothing_ alike! Stop comparing me to her! I’m not her! I didn’t enjoy hurting people! My mind got ripped to shreds, and she has powers that can do exactly that! I was trained to put her down if she ever tried to turn against them! I know what she’s capable of so fucking _stop comparing us to each other_! Every time those words leave your mouth I feel _sick_ and _scared_ of what you really think of me if you see us so similarly!” The room is silent but for his ragged breathing, both men staring at him with wide eyes and looking more than a little sick.

“ _Get out_ ,” Tony eventually commands. It says something that Steve doesn’t even try to argue and just stumbles out of the lab. Bucky starts registering the sting in his eyes and the wetness on his face, realizing belatedly that he’s been crying since his outburst. Tony reaches for him. “Bucky-” He makes a wounded noise and backs away from the genius, scrubbing at his eyes, rough sobs constricting his breathing. He does the only thing he knows how to do. He runs.

* * *

 

_“You are pathetic,” Wanda hisses over his body, keeping him pinned down by her powers. He’s shaking violently with his eyes focused on the menacing glow of her hands. He hasn’t stopped struggling against her hold but isn’t able to break it. “You will be nothing but the soldier, no matter how much you try to change. I will bring you back to them, and you will be the weapon you are supposed to be. Then we will take down the Avengers. I will make you watch yourself kill everyone you love; you will be helpless to do anything but watch the life drain from their eyes.”_

_He lets out an animalistic noise as her hands come closer to his head, feeling the pulls of missions he wants to forget, crimes he wishes he never committed. He screams as each excruciating detail passes across his mind’s eye, convulsing and crying…_

Bucky jerks awake with a hoarse scream, struggling against his blankets that feel like the heavy weight of _red, so much red, too much red, nothing but red, red, red, **red**_. He falls out of bed and peddles backwards into a corner, eyes jerking around the room checking for the threat that isn’t there. Time passes as he tries to recover from his nightmare, shake away the images his own mind conjured and the fact that the threat _lives with him in the fucking building oh God, oh God, **oh God**_. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe, to count, to think of a peaceful space. He thinks of the lab. Of Tony.

He jumps up and almost runs out of the room and to the elevator that opens before he even reaches it. “Please take me to Tony,” he whispers, throat feeling like he swallowed gravel. The elevator moves silently all the way up to the penthouse, something he’s thankful for. The doors open, and he steps out, coming face-to-face with Tony. Arms circle around his waist, warm and comforting; he sags and wraps his arms around the smaller man, hiding his face in his neck with a choked sob. He stays curled around him for God knows how long just crying and crying until he can’t anymore. _I’m always cryin’ on him…_

He leans back and sniffles pitifully, getting a sympathetic look from Tony. The smaller man uses the sleeves of his shirt to wipe his face clean, and he flushes in embarrassment. “Do you want to stay with me tonight?” the genius asks. “It’s been a rough night for me too, so I’ve been watching animated movies for the past several hours.” Bucky nods silently as they separate and takes Tony’s hand. Tony gives him a shy smile and leads him to the bedroom attached to the lab. They curl up together under the big blanket that Bucky feels like he could live in forever because of how soft it is. They lean into each other, and Bucky buries his nose in Tony’s hair.

The soldier barely pays attention to the movie, instead focused on how Tony feels against him and how close they’ve gotten since he got to the tower. Since the “Civil War” and finding out about his parents. They went from not even being in the same room with each other unless absolutely necessary to cuddling up to watch movies and comfort each other. It almost seems inevitable that Bucky would develop feelings for Tony. He thinks he can comfortably say that they’re returned and decides he feels vulnerable enough to go out on a limb.

“I’d like to take you out some time, doll,” he mutters, eyes averted to the side as he flushes slightly. He feels Tony’s eyes snap from the movie to him as the smaller man shifts to look at him. “A date. If ya want. I know it’s been rough ‘tween us. But I’m sweet on ya. Feel close to ya and like we got something. If ya want.” A hand on his cheek makes him look back at Tony, who has a shy smile on his face again.

“I’d like that,” he replies softly. “You know Steve isn’t going to be happy about this though. As much as he tries to hide it, he still blames me for what happened.” Bucky touches his metal hand to the one on his cheek.

“I’ll deal with Steve. He ain’t exactly friend of the year right now. I’m more worried about what the witch is capable of.” He grimaces, reminded of his nightmare. Tony sighs and smooths his thumb over Bucky’s cheek.

“We’ll both deal with Steve _and_ her. Preferably after the sun has come up and copious amounts of coffee has entered our systems.” Bucky raises an eyebrow in amusement.

“You mean you of all people have an amount that reaches that standard?” Tony sticks his tongue out at him, and it makes a ball of warmth curl up in his chest.

“Is this what I’m going to deal with when I date you?” he sniffs. “Coffee doesn’t even work on you, I bet. You’re a walking Placebo Effect.” Bucky grins.

“Damn straight.” They chuckle slightly, feeling leagues better from where they were when Bucky had shown up on his floor earlier that night. Tony kisses him on the cheek, and Bucky kisses him back on the nose. “Thanks for being here for me, doll. It means a lot.”

“You’re here for me too, Robocop. Doesn’t hurt that I like having you around too.” It’s the soldier’s turn to give a shy smile, one that Tony returns. “Wanna finish the movie?” Bucky nods, and they lay down with Tony’s head right over Bucky’s heart and the metal arm across his back. He nuzzles the smaller man’s hair and breathes. Alienated as they were, at least they were together. _Thank you, Tony_.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Kudos and comments always welcome of course! Thank you so much for taking the time to read it!


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